I've been thinking for the last few days what it's really going to be like when Cecilia is set free from her three month prison sentence. For some reason it's almost difficult to remember what it was like to see her kick-kicking with excitement, or standing up holding on to the back of the couch, or sitting in the sand on the beach playing in the shallow pool of water. When she was swaddled she would let us know she was done sleeping by thumping her legs together in the crib.
Since she hasn't slept but more than a night or two in the crib in three months, both the crib and the changing table have both felt like decorative, but fundamentally useless furniture.
It's a wonder how only three months time feels like another lifetime. Now it makes more sense why people say they need to relearn everything when they have a second child; the constant feeding, the sleepless nights, and the most common, how little a newborn is. We've been told that only the latter two will apply in our case. She should maintain her diet but will be sore and uncomfortable for a while and she will seem smaller now that the giant cast isn't filling out her pj's for her. She'll also be pretty soft and squishy. I won't be able to hang onto her bar and prop her on my lap without squirming.
All of these things I've gotten used to, but I'm sure the alternative will be much better. Since I was asked to list the things that I'm most looking forward to here goes:
I can't wait to tumble around with her. Once she starts to crawl (which will hopefully be soon) she can crawl all over me en route from one place to another.
I can't wait to see her smiling glance up at me when she is able to grab my fingers again and take a few steps and collapse in her waiting mother's lap.
I can't wait to see her explore new things that she finds on her own without us having to put something on her table for her to play with. Granted, her rocking chair table has been unbelievably helpful and I can hardly imagine living for three months without it, but to be free of the chair will be amazing.
I can't wait to tickle her tummy and see her squirm with excitement. (I may be reversing my position when I have to buckle her onto the changing table because she won't stay still).
I can't wait to take her swimming. I'm sure Katie already mentioned the bath and I am excited for that but I bet she is more. I did buy a big rubber duckie at the Sugar Shack in Vegas last week for her to play with in her first bath. We'll see how that goes - the bath I mean. I'm sure by the time she likes the bath, she will love the duck.
As I've been writing this, I'm thinking of the sweet little girl on my flight home from Phoenix this morning. Her mother, who I think has the same condition, was taking her to Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake for a doctor visit. Though they could both walk somewhat, they both had a deformity of their legs. As I was overhearing parts of her conversation, I was struck by how chipper and pleasant they both were. We all have unique challenges. Some are more difficult to deal with but we take them in stride. When people see baby C they always say, "she seems to be dealing with it just fine." My initial thought is to ask, "how else would she deal with it?"
I'm grateful for the challenges we've had to go through, I guess, mostly because I know that my daughter's are temporary. When people say they can't imagine going through something like we have, I have to think of others going through much more difficult circumstances.
If this is our challenge, I'll take it. But, hey, I'm glad it's over tomorrow.
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