After my downer Christmas post I thought I had better write a more upbeat one. Three weeks from today is Cecilia's cast change, then 5 weeks and 5 days later and the cast comes off. Can't come fast enough. I think I'll add a count down to the blog, if I can find one.
Cecilia has been sleeping much better since Sunday. I think getting back into a routine in a familiar place really helps. Hopefully we don't have anymore hiccups this weekend when Shaun is home. There was even one night she slept from 6 pm to 7:30 am with a feeding in the night during which she fell asleep and two 2 hour naps during the day. This was behavior like before the cast (I just realized I can abbreviate that to BC and I love it, think I'll use that in the future) and I was so happy! Mom and dad got some good sleep too and everyone woke up refreshed and happy in the morning. It is amazing how dependent on sleep we as humans are (me especially).
On a side note Shaun and I are working on not wrapping her to sleep. She is really old to still be swaddled, but she just won't calm down and eat and go to sleep without it. Before the cast she loved being wrapped and would smile and coo when I did it. But like everything else, the cast changed that and now she fusses when I wrap her. So we have been working on some strategies to get away from it. We have settled on stratagies that wrap her until she falls asleep and then unwrap her so her arms are free after that. Then we'll work on getting her to fall asleep without it later. Last night was the first night we tried it. The first attempt of not wrapping her, but holding her arm so it doesn't flail didn't work at all. She hates it when I hold her arm and just concentrates on getting it away from me instead of eating. That attempt was ditched while I thought about a better way. Next attempt (for middle of the night feeding) was to wrap her until she fell asleep (during eating so still being held) and then pull her arm out. It kinda worked, I got one side free but the other was too disruptive and I abandoned it. I felt one being loose was good enough for a first try. She even woke up when I put her down and I was so nervous for what came next. But shockingly she only talked for a minute and then got quiet and went back to sleep. It was very encouraging and while I know there will be battles hopefully they won't be very many. I think she is ready for this, remind me I said that after the battles :)
Future battles, drinking from a sippy cup namely formula, sleeping through the night, and stopping nursing to sleep which will probably coincide with weaning. But all in good time, and most of which probably after the cast comes off, except drinking from a sippy cup. We are concurently working on this one and are having some success, again if her arms are tied. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Almost three weeks in
Let me just say THIS SUCKS! Ok now that I got that off my chest...
Last week was probably one of the hardest of my life. It was so long that I can't remember the first week Cecilia was in the cast to compare. But she didn't sleep anymore than the first week and it was harder on me because:
1. Everyone says the first two weeks are the hardest. I kept wondering if that meant this is what the rest of the time was going to be like. Up in the middle of the night with a child who cries unless you are holding her and not sleeping for hours and skipping naps on top of it.
2. I was sick. Let's just say I couldn't decide if throwing up would make me feel better or not. I didn't, which given my history is a bit of a surprise. But I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and probably couldn't sleep even if Cecilia was and I certainly wasn't any help to Shaun with her.
It was the worst Christmas ever! No sugar coating this one. She was up for about 5 hours in the middle of the night, a record for her. And I was in and out of the bathroom the whole time. We were at my parents house and they were generous enough to try their hand with her around 4:30 am and to watch her after she got up again at 7 am (after not quite two hours of sleep) while we slept in. They are so sweet and patient with her, I have a lot to learn from them. Anyway let's hope next Christmas will be better. I would say it can't get worse, but I know I would be proven wrong :)
On to the lesson I learned this week. I went to church on Sunday (because she chose to skip a nap). While there I heard several other kids fussing or crying and thought to myself this could be worse. We have a sweet baby who only cries in the middle of the night when she can't sleep and we put her down. Amazingly she hasn't been much more fussy with all of this missed sleep. I'm sure Heavenly Father has his hand in our lives right now on this front. She is still a sweet happy girl and smiles or giggles when she sees us. We are so blessed to have her in our lives and need to remember this is difficult for her too.
One last thing and I'll finish. Cecilia gets punchy when she doesn't sleep. It is kinda funny, except it reminds me she is overtired. Since she got her cast she has started to grin a huge, toothless, cheesy grin. Well last week she started giggling. She has always been a smiler, but getting her to giggle has been a challenge. Until sleep deprivation! Every time Shaun or I walked into the room from being out of sight she would smile huge and start giggling. It was hilarious! We started a game where I would walk away and then come at her and she would just laugh and laugh. It was the silver lining of the week. I was able to get a video, although this doesn't quite do it justice, I guess you just have to experience it for yourself. Anyone is welcome at 2 am to witness it :)
Last week was probably one of the hardest of my life. It was so long that I can't remember the first week Cecilia was in the cast to compare. But she didn't sleep anymore than the first week and it was harder on me because:
1. Everyone says the first two weeks are the hardest. I kept wondering if that meant this is what the rest of the time was going to be like. Up in the middle of the night with a child who cries unless you are holding her and not sleeping for hours and skipping naps on top of it.
2. I was sick. Let's just say I couldn't decide if throwing up would make me feel better or not. I didn't, which given my history is a bit of a surprise. But I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and probably couldn't sleep even if Cecilia was and I certainly wasn't any help to Shaun with her.
It was the worst Christmas ever! No sugar coating this one. She was up for about 5 hours in the middle of the night, a record for her. And I was in and out of the bathroom the whole time. We were at my parents house and they were generous enough to try their hand with her around 4:30 am and to watch her after she got up again at 7 am (after not quite two hours of sleep) while we slept in. They are so sweet and patient with her, I have a lot to learn from them. Anyway let's hope next Christmas will be better. I would say it can't get worse, but I know I would be proven wrong :)
On to the lesson I learned this week. I went to church on Sunday (because she chose to skip a nap). While there I heard several other kids fussing or crying and thought to myself this could be worse. We have a sweet baby who only cries in the middle of the night when she can't sleep and we put her down. Amazingly she hasn't been much more fussy with all of this missed sleep. I'm sure Heavenly Father has his hand in our lives right now on this front. She is still a sweet happy girl and smiles or giggles when she sees us. We are so blessed to have her in our lives and need to remember this is difficult for her too.
One last thing and I'll finish. Cecilia gets punchy when she doesn't sleep. It is kinda funny, except it reminds me she is overtired. Since she got her cast she has started to grin a huge, toothless, cheesy grin. Well last week she started giggling. She has always been a smiler, but getting her to giggle has been a challenge. Until sleep deprivation! Every time Shaun or I walked into the room from being out of sight she would smile huge and start giggling. It was hilarious! We started a game where I would walk away and then come at her and she would just laugh and laugh. It was the silver lining of the week. I was able to get a video, although this doesn't quite do it justice, I guess you just have to experience it for yourself. Anyone is welcome at 2 am to witness it :)
Friday, December 11, 2009
Moving Backwards
This whole experience with Cecilia in a cast has really thrown Shaun and I backwards. We feel like Cecilia is a newborn again. We have to relearn how to hold her, how to diaper her, how to bathe her (sponge), how to dress her and what will fit (nothing really). I have to figure out how to nurse her again. We are back to middle of the night soothing and feeding several times and sleeplessness. Shaun said this morning he can't remember having a worse night with her, not since she was born. It brings back memories of those first few nights when I was up every two hours and had so much adrenaline that I couldn't sleep between feedings anyway. The list of similarities goes on, she can't do the things she used to like sit up on her own, play on the floor by herself, roll over (which she has tried to do several times while I'm changing her diaper and it breaks my heart to see because she just figured it out), kick me when I'm changing her diaper and most precious of all stand up. She cries for no apparent reason and we wonder if life will ever get back to normal or if this is life for three months and we will have to do some major retraining in the end. It is the most surreal experience. One I wish I wasn't having. But reminiscing about her being a newborn is the silver lining. Plus we feel more confident as a parent this time and it is taking us less time to figure it out. I think life will be much better once we are all sleeping better, hopefully.
Day... I don't know I'm so tired I hardly know my name
Today is Friday. That much I remember. So if Cecilia got her cast on on Tuesday this must be day 4. Yeah ok, brain a little slow but it is still there. I remember today is Friday because we took Cecilia back to Primary's to get a CT scan of her hip to make sure it is in the right place. That went well. Everything looks good and we were able to convince the doctor to cut off some of the top of her cast. It came up so high that it dug into her armpits and she could lick the front of it when she sat. He agreed that it was too high and thankfully cut off about an inch and a half (like Shaun said in his post). I joked with the doctor that he does this to all the parents so they feel better about the cast they have in the end. It was very traumatizing for Cecilia, but worth it to get another inch of her cute body.
So on to the reason my brain is so fried. I think Cecilia must have had some muscle spasms last night because she woke up several times crying between 10:30 and 2. We kept going in and rocking her to sleep, then put her down and 10-20 minutes later screaming again. Finally at 2 am I gave her some more Motrin (after Tylenol at 10:30) and rocked her to sleep and and stayed there holding her for about an hour. She would occasionally jump and start crying, which is what many say the signs of muscle spasms are. Poor thing! Finally I think the combination of pure exhaustion and the medicine worked and she slept until 6:30. Shaun and I are running on fumes after three nights in a row of little sleep. But we are tapping into our reserves and hope tonight will be better.
So on to the reason my brain is so fried. I think Cecilia must have had some muscle spasms last night because she woke up several times crying between 10:30 and 2. We kept going in and rocking her to sleep, then put her down and 10-20 minutes later screaming again. Finally at 2 am I gave her some more Motrin (after Tylenol at 10:30) and rocked her to sleep and and stayed there holding her for about an hour. She would occasionally jump and start crying, which is what many say the signs of muscle spasms are. Poor thing! Finally I think the combination of pure exhaustion and the medicine worked and she slept until 6:30. Shaun and I are running on fumes after three nights in a row of little sleep. But we are tapping into our reserves and hope tonight will be better.
Minor victory
anyway. The surgeon agreed with us that it was way too high on her
body so he let the nurse cut off a bit of it. Too bad they could hear
the little one scream from two miles away.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Surgery Day
Well our journey has begun. Cecilia is now in a full body cast. It is much larger than I expected and we all hate it. It also has a bar across the legs which the doctor and nurses say makes it easier to pick her up. Which may be true but dressing her is more difficult and we can't get as close to her.
Anyway her surgery was on Tuesday and it was honestly one of the hardest days of my life. I don't know a mom out there that won't cry uncontrollably when her perfect little baby is taken from her to go into surgery (and continues to cry every time she thinks about it). But thankfully they were able to do the closed reduction and just cut a tendon to loosen the leg to get the perfect fit. The doctor said it sat really well and there was no question as to the open reduction. This is good because the recovery time is a lot less and we were able to bring her home same day. She cried that day more than I think she ever has in her entire life combined. She was mad, and I'm sure in pain, when she woke up. Thankfully they called me back quickly and I was able to nurse her, which calmed her considerably. It was so hard to see her screaming at the top of her lungs and in this HUGE cast and with dilated eyes from the anesthesia. Of course I cried too. Had a hard time stopping since too. But everyone who has gone through this says the first 2 weeks are the hardest. We just have to make it through these two weeks and everything will get better. I just can't help feeling so sorry for my little girl who keeps trying to pull the cast away from her and whom I can't cuddle and comfort. I can't help wishing we found this sooner so we could do the harness which would be so much easier to deal with. I can't keep from crying when I give her a sponge bath on her head and feet remembering when she loved to take baths.
But I'm also grateful that we found it before she was mobile because I know it would be so much harder on her if she knew how to move and couldn't. I'm grateful for her spica chair which will allow her to sit up and play and where we can feed her. I'm grateful for the online group where I can hear others stories and be grateful she will only have this for 3 months and hopefully never again. I'm also so very grateful that Cecilia is an otherwise normal, perfect baby.
At the hospital we had to wait with other families whose children were having surgery. How grateful I am that Cecilia doesn't have a feeding tube and tracheotomy and who is going through her 4th surgery and she is only a year old. How grateful I am that I'm not the mother of the teenager who has a severely scarred face. Or the mother of the 6 year old so skinny that I can carry her in my arms. How grateful I am that Cecilia has a curable condition and after these next 3 months we can look back and never have to worry again.
So day two and we are sad and grateful.
Anyway her surgery was on Tuesday and it was honestly one of the hardest days of my life. I don't know a mom out there that won't cry uncontrollably when her perfect little baby is taken from her to go into surgery (and continues to cry every time she thinks about it). But thankfully they were able to do the closed reduction and just cut a tendon to loosen the leg to get the perfect fit. The doctor said it sat really well and there was no question as to the open reduction. This is good because the recovery time is a lot less and we were able to bring her home same day. She cried that day more than I think she ever has in her entire life combined. She was mad, and I'm sure in pain, when she woke up. Thankfully they called me back quickly and I was able to nurse her, which calmed her considerably. It was so hard to see her screaming at the top of her lungs and in this HUGE cast and with dilated eyes from the anesthesia. Of course I cried too. Had a hard time stopping since too. But everyone who has gone through this says the first 2 weeks are the hardest. We just have to make it through these two weeks and everything will get better. I just can't help feeling so sorry for my little girl who keeps trying to pull the cast away from her and whom I can't cuddle and comfort. I can't help wishing we found this sooner so we could do the harness which would be so much easier to deal with. I can't keep from crying when I give her a sponge bath on her head and feet remembering when she loved to take baths.
But I'm also grateful that we found it before she was mobile because I know it would be so much harder on her if she knew how to move and couldn't. I'm grateful for her spica chair which will allow her to sit up and play and where we can feed her. I'm grateful for the online group where I can hear others stories and be grateful she will only have this for 3 months and hopefully never again. I'm also so very grateful that Cecilia is an otherwise normal, perfect baby.
At the hospital we had to wait with other families whose children were having surgery. How grateful I am that Cecilia doesn't have a feeding tube and tracheotomy and who is going through her 4th surgery and she is only a year old. How grateful I am that I'm not the mother of the teenager who has a severely scarred face. Or the mother of the 6 year old so skinny that I can carry her in my arms. How grateful I am that Cecilia has a curable condition and after these next 3 months we can look back and never have to worry again.
So day two and we are sad and grateful.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wicked in San Francisco
This weekend we traveled to San Francisco with Cecilia's Hadley grandparents. We took them to see Wicked, the broadway musical and to give them a bit of grandparent time with the baby.
It's getting more difficult to call her the baby, even though she's not even 8 months old. I've attached a picture of her standing on the chair, something she has been able to do for a few months already. She loves to stand but hates to crawl. Well, she hasn't ever crawled but she just recently figured out how to roll over. And only after prodding does she even do that. She grabs our fingers from a sitting or even laying position and she wants to stand by stretching her legs out straight and lifting her head. When she's standing she even puts one foot in front of another and tries to walk.
Back to our San Francisco trip. We have some friends who used to live in the city who know people living there now who get a great baby sitter a few times a week. They put us in contact with her and we had her watch Ceci on Friday night so we could all go see the show together. Saturday was filled with visiting the ferry building farmers market, lunch at Fishermans Wharf and shops in North Beach and Pacific Heights. How can you not love San Francisco?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
DDH
Cecilia has been diagnosed with a condition called Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip or DDH. Essentially what it means is she was so squished in the womb that the ball of her left femur couldn't fit into the right place in her hip when it was forming and so is not in the right place now. We need to get them together and keep them there so they will stay and grow around each other properly. If we had caught this before she was 6 months old they would have just put her into a harness for up to 3 months and her hip would have grown over the ball. But now that she is older she is too strong for the harness and there is a possibility that tissue has grown between the socket and the ball. This means she will have to have a surgery. They put her under anesthesia and try to place the ball in the socket. They then inject a dye and take an X-ray to see if it "sits" well. If it does then they put a cast on her and they are done. If it doesn't they snip a tendon that can cause the area to be tight and see if they can get a good fit. If still not then they give her an epidural and make an incision and clean out the fatty tissue that is in the way. The first two possibilities are called a closed reduction and the third, more invasive, is called an open reduction. Either way she will have to be in a cast from her belly to her ankles for three months with a cast change at 6 weeks (because she will grow out of the cast).
Shaun and I are obviously upset by this news. A million thoughts go through my head at the same time, so many that I can't express them here. This is a fairly common condition (1 in 1000 births) so there is a lot of information online and a support group for "Hip baby" moms. These resources have been so helpful for us as we come to grips with life over the next three months. The symptoms are pretty clear and the treatment is very standard. Both of these facts comfort us that Cecilia has been correctly diagnosed and will be treated properly. I feel the Spirit has confirmed this to us and put our minds at rest that this is the best for our daughter. Additionally through the support group I can talk with other moms and get advice from them on how to diaper, clothe, clean, feed and entertain Cecilia while she is in a cast.
I'm most concerned with two things. First, sleeping. Many moms say this is the hardest part because it is difficult to keep them comfortable (understandably so). Additionally as you know Cecilia is in love with her swing, which she will not fit into with a cast on. I have renewed and doubled my efforts on that front and we are finally making significant progress. Thank Heavens! But we won't know the position of her legs in the cast until the surgery. They may be straight out, or bent up like an M shape or anywhere in between. This makes it hard to prepare for sleeping positions . We just pray the Lord will help us when the time comes. My second major concern is the number of blowouts Cecilia has on a regular basis. She poops up a storm during her morning nap and frequently the diaper can't hold it all. Regular blowouts in a cast is going to be a nightmare. It isn't like I can take out the cotton lining and wash it. I have done a lot of research on this and hope I found some good pointers for keeping the cast clean. Let's just say feminine products and Depends are used as well as double diapers. I think Heavenly Father is helping me out here too because since we started to feed her more cereal her poop has gotten thicker and says in the diaper better.
Entertainment is going to be tricky, as will taking her anywhere. The vain side me thinks about how many comments we get about how cute she is and knows these will turn into "what happened to her?" But like I said, that is the vain side of me and probably needs to be humbled anyway. Besides she will still be adorable. We bought a chair specifically designed for spica kids (that is the name of the type of cast) and hope she likes it. At least she can sit up and play in it. I recently posted about how she loves to walk now. That will be impossible and will probably frustrate her. We probably never should have done it with her. We'll try to underemphasis it now. Cecilia loves walks outside so we will just have to figure out a way to bundle her up and take lots of walks. Maybe I'll get in shape :)
Everyday we think of another aspect that will change or be more difficult. But we just remember this is what is best for our daughter and 3 months isn't that long. The long term outlook is really good if we get it taken care of. She shouldn't have any problems as she grows up and her hip should grow to be normal. Both of those facts are very encouraging and will sustain us during the hard days. I'm just so grateful we found it now before she is really walking or crawling as it would be much harder. This is the main reason we decided to move forward ASAP. So her surgery will be December 8th at Primary Children's Hospital here in SLC. If she just needs the closed surgery we can take her home same day, if they have to do the open she will come home next day. Please let us know if you know someone who has gone through this as I love to get as much advice as I can. And pray for Cecilia that the surgery will go well and she will adjust quickly to being in a cast.
Shaun and I are obviously upset by this news. A million thoughts go through my head at the same time, so many that I can't express them here. This is a fairly common condition (1 in 1000 births) so there is a lot of information online and a support group for "Hip baby" moms. These resources have been so helpful for us as we come to grips with life over the next three months. The symptoms are pretty clear and the treatment is very standard. Both of these facts comfort us that Cecilia has been correctly diagnosed and will be treated properly. I feel the Spirit has confirmed this to us and put our minds at rest that this is the best for our daughter. Additionally through the support group I can talk with other moms and get advice from them on how to diaper, clothe, clean, feed and entertain Cecilia while she is in a cast.
I'm most concerned with two things. First, sleeping. Many moms say this is the hardest part because it is difficult to keep them comfortable (understandably so). Additionally as you know Cecilia is in love with her swing, which she will not fit into with a cast on. I have renewed and doubled my efforts on that front and we are finally making significant progress. Thank Heavens! But we won't know the position of her legs in the cast until the surgery. They may be straight out, or bent up like an M shape or anywhere in between. This makes it hard to prepare for sleeping positions . We just pray the Lord will help us when the time comes. My second major concern is the number of blowouts Cecilia has on a regular basis. She poops up a storm during her morning nap and frequently the diaper can't hold it all. Regular blowouts in a cast is going to be a nightmare. It isn't like I can take out the cotton lining and wash it. I have done a lot of research on this and hope I found some good pointers for keeping the cast clean. Let's just say feminine products and Depends are used as well as double diapers. I think Heavenly Father is helping me out here too because since we started to feed her more cereal her poop has gotten thicker and says in the diaper better.
Entertainment is going to be tricky, as will taking her anywhere. The vain side me thinks about how many comments we get about how cute she is and knows these will turn into "what happened to her?" But like I said, that is the vain side of me and probably needs to be humbled anyway. Besides she will still be adorable. We bought a chair specifically designed for spica kids (that is the name of the type of cast) and hope she likes it. At least she can sit up and play in it. I recently posted about how she loves to walk now. That will be impossible and will probably frustrate her. We probably never should have done it with her. We'll try to underemphasis it now. Cecilia loves walks outside so we will just have to figure out a way to bundle her up and take lots of walks. Maybe I'll get in shape :)
Everyday we think of another aspect that will change or be more difficult. But we just remember this is what is best for our daughter and 3 months isn't that long. The long term outlook is really good if we get it taken care of. She shouldn't have any problems as she grows up and her hip should grow to be normal. Both of those facts are very encouraging and will sustain us during the hard days. I'm just so grateful we found it now before she is really walking or crawling as it would be much harder. This is the main reason we decided to move forward ASAP. So her surgery will be December 8th at Primary Children's Hospital here in SLC. If she just needs the closed surgery we can take her home same day, if they have to do the open she will come home next day. Please let us know if you know someone who has gone through this as I love to get as much advice as I can. And pray for Cecilia that the surgery will go well and she will adjust quickly to being in a cast.
Walking
We have mentioned several times how Cecilia loves to stand. Every once in a while I'll try to get her to walk. The first several times I had to physically bend her legs for her. She wasn't ready yet. So I kinda forgot about it. The other day I tried it again and she did better. I tried swinging her body back and forth to get her to take the steps. But Shaun learned the trick and now she loves to walk. Just a little bit of pressure under her armpit and it is like a string tied to her leg, she will raise it and put it forward. I caught a video of it. Amazingly enough this was the same day she rolled over. She went through a mental growth spurt or something.
She has gotten so much better in the three days since this was made. Yesterday she had a ball and every time it rolled away from her we would stand up and walk over to it and I would sit her down so she could play with it. She loved it so much that ever time I helped her stand up she would do this super cute jig, dancing with her legs like YEAH I love this! then she would start walking toward the ball. Anyway, enjoy the video!
She has gotten so much better in the three days since this was made. Yesterday she had a ball and every time it rolled away from her we would stand up and walk over to it and I would sit her down so she could play with it. She loved it so much that ever time I helped her stand up she would do this super cute jig, dancing with her legs like YEAH I love this! then she would start walking toward the ball. Anyway, enjoy the video!
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